As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. And Saul took him that day and would not let him return to his father's house. Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul. And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David, and his armor, and even his sword and his bow and his belt. And David went out and was successful wherever Saul sent him, so that Saul set him over the men of war. And this was good in the sight of all the people and also in the sight of Saul's servants.

    As they were coming home, when David returned from striking down the Philistine, the women came out of all the cities of Israel, singing and dancing, to meet King Saul, with tambourines, with songs of joy, and with musical instruments. And the women sang to one another as they celebrated,
    “Saul has struck down his thousands,
        and David his ten thousands.”
    And Saul was very angry, and this saying displeased him. He said, “They have ascribed to David ten thousands, and to me they have ascribed thousands, and what more can he have but the kingdom?” And Saul eyed David from that day on.
    The next day a harmful spirit from God rushed upon Saul, and he raved within his house while David was playing the lyre, as he did day by day. Saul had his spear in his hand. And Saul hurled the spear, for he thought, “I will pin David to the wall.” But David evaded him twice.
    Saul was afraid of David because the LORD was with him but had departed from Saul. So Saul removed him from his presence and made him a commander of a thousand. And he went out and came in before the people. And David had success in all his undertakings, for the LORD was with him. And when Saul saw that he had great success, he stood in fearful awe of him. But all Israel and Judah loved David, for he went out and came in before them.—1 Samuel 18:1–16

Introduction

Over the next two weeks, I want to talk about the sins of envy and rivalry. In my judgment, envy is one of the most subtle and unrecognized sins that we face as Christians. Envy is pervasive; it seeps into everything with its corrosive and poisoning influence. Envy attacks relationships, so I want you to evaluate yourself and your relationships to see if it’s present: husbands and wives; parents and children; brothers and sisters; roommates and friends; coworkers and ministry partners. Envy is an ever-present and increasingly obvious influence in our culture, and I’m of the mind that sins that are obvious in the culture are usually present in more subtle forms in the church.

Envy Hunts in a Pack

When we begin to talk about envy, we need to realize that we’re talking about a number of interlocking sins. Envy, like all sins, hunts in a pack. It is always accompanied by a band of vicious wolves, and I think it will be helpful to distinguish this wolf-pack so that we can be alert for their presence in our own lives.

Envy is a feeling of unhappiness at the blessing and fortune of others. In the words of one author, it is the painful and often resentful awareness of an advantage enjoyed by someone else. We often lump envy and jealousy together, but there is an important distinction. Jealousy is oriented toward what we possess; envy is oriented toward the possessions of others. We are jealous for what we have, which is why jealousy is not always a sin. We are envious of what others have. Covetousness is an overweening desire for that which is not yours. Or, as I try to explain to my boys, covetousness is wanting something so much it makes you fussy. Covetousness wants what the other guy has; envy is angry that the other guy has it. Covetousness is oriented toward your neighbor’s possessions; envy toward the man himself.

In this passage, Saul is provoked to envy by the celebration of the crowds. This passage immediately follows David’s victory over Goliath. Notice that the women came out “to meet King Saul” (v.6), but their song celebrates the accomplishments of both David and Saul. Saul has to share the stage with this young shepherd boy. What’s more, Saul fixates on the fact that they attributed more slayings to David than to himself (v.8). This is Saul’s party, and he is being overshadowed by David. As one commentator put it, Saul is the older brother at the prodigal’s party. Even worse, he thought it was supposed to be his party, and he is angry and displeased by it.

Now, when you read this, we might feel a kind of sympathy for Saul. We understand why he was so upset. The same thing happens when we read the story of Joseph and his brothers. When he comes to tell them about his dream, we identify with them, we understand why they reacted that way, and may even feel a bit put off by Joseph or David. “What right did he have to steal Saul’s thunder? Why would Joseph rub his dream in his brother’s faces like that?” The fact that we have such a reaction perhaps tells us that envy may lurk in our hearts, ready to be activated in the right circumstance.

So we see envy in this passage, the anger and displeasure at the recognition of David’s success. Whenever envy appears, it’s a good bet that rivalry will be riding alongside. Rivalry is unholy competition that is rooted in a proud and envious assessment of your own abilities and the abilities of others. In verse 9, we’re told that Saul “eyed David from that day on.” He gave David the sidelong glance and began to try to elbow him out. There’s a competition: who will be known as the greater warrior? Who will slay more enemies? Who will the people love and esteem?

Resentment, another of these vicious wolves, is a simmering bitterness at some perceived injustice. In Saul’s case, the injustice flows from a perverse comparison: “They have ascribed to David ten thousands, and to me they have ascribed thousands.” Resentment then plays the scenario out and deepens the felt sense of injustice: “what more can he have but the kingdom?” So this envy and rivalry and resentment compares in the present and then looks to the future with fear and foreboding and a sense of outrage. Envy, rivalry, and resentment pervert the imagination, turning it ugly and bitter, and awakening malice and spite.

Malice is the suppressed hatred that plots and takes pleasure in the downfall of another. When you envy someone, malice dreams and envisions their ruin and then gives a satisfied chuckle if the ruin comes to pass. Or worse, malice begins to plan how to contribute to that ruin. In Saul’s case, he begins to think of how to get rid of David.

In fact, malice helps us to see how envy changes shape. When Saul first sees David’s success, he takes him into his home (18:2), and set him over the men of war (18:5). Saul’s first reaction to God’s hand on David is to give him a promotion. Then when envy is awakened, he grows erratic and tries to pin him to the wall. When David evades him, he grows fearful of him and sends him out of his house (18:13). When God continues to bless David, Saul stands in fearful awe of him (18:15).

Then he begins to flatter David, offering him his daughter, while secretly plotting in his mind (Let not my hand be against him, but let the hand of the Philistines be against him—18:17). When David shows his humility (Who am I, and who are my relatives, my father’s clan in Israel, that I should be son-in-law to the king?—18:18), Saul withdraws the offer, but continues to plot. Later, when he discovers that his daughter Michal loves David, he thinks, “Let me give her to him, that she may be a snare for him and that the hand of the Philistines may be against him” (18:21). Perhaps he thinks that he will now have a spy in David’s house, or perhaps he thinks that Michal will in some way lead David astray. And this time, Saul brings others into the mix, using them to flatter David with lies about the king’s delight.

When David again displays his humility (Does it seem to you a little thing to become the king’s son-in-law, since I am a poor man and have no reputation?—18:23), Saul gets tricky and offers to accept one hundred Philistine foreskins instead of a bride-price. Why? “Now Saul thought to make David fall by the hand of the Philistines” (18:25). Saul hoped that killing one hundred men single-handedly would prove too much for David. Instead, David brought back 200 and “Saul saw and knew that the Lord was with David and became even more afraid” (18:28-29). But this fear doesn’t lead to reconciliation. Instead, Saul brings his hatred and malice into the open, telling his son and his servants that they should kill David (19:1).

Promotion leads to Resentment, which leads to Raving and Erratic Behavior, which leads to Fear, which leads to Flattery, which leads to Malicious Plotting, which leads to False gifts and Lies, which leads to Overt Enmity and Hatred. These are the many faces of envy and rivalry. So as we try to evaluate our hearts, we want to be alert to the fact that envy is a chameleon, masquerading as smooth flattery one minute and righteous indignation the next, fear and awe one minute and then malicious plotting and overt assault the next.

We also see here that envy, like all sin, is fundamentally irrational. It’s insane. When envy takes root in people’s hearts, they do things that make no sense, like seeing God’s hand of blessing on someone in a manifest and obvious way, knowing that it’s God’s blessing, and still making that person an enemy (v.28-29). This is because envy is myopic; it focuses the mind on the offense of the other person’s success so that all other considerations must take a backseat, and we spiral down into despair and destruction.

So as we address the sin of envy, we’re talking about a whole host of sins: envy, jealousy, covetousness, rivalry, resentment, malice, hatred, flattery, corrupt desire, smoldering anger, perverse comparison, a fixation on the blessing of other people.

How Envy Works

1. Envy Follows Success like Night Follows Day.

What provokes envy in Saul is God’s hand of blessing on David. He defeats Goliath, seemingly against all odds. He was successful wherever Saul sent him (v. 5). He was loved by many: by Saul’s son (v.1-3), by the people, by Saul’s servants, by Saul’s daughter (v.20), by all Israel and Judah (v.16). God was with him (v.12) so that he had success “in all of his undertakings” (v.14), in all of his battles with the Philistines (v.30), and “more success than all the servants of Saul so that his name was highly esteemed” (v.30).

Envy follows success with a hungry eye, incessantly asking questions like “What about me?” or “Why not me?” It can stomach other people’s success up to a point, which is why it co-opts them and invites them into its home. But as soon as the newcomer begins to overshadow us, envy turns like a ravenous wolf, gnaws itself into malice, and seeks the ruin of the successful.

And one of the ways that we can know whether we’re in danger of envy is the kind of questions we ask when success shows up. When a David shows up and goes off like a rocket, moving from shepherd boy to general in no time flat, what is our greatest spiritual concern (and perhaps our only concern)? David’s pride. We find ourselves at Jesse’s house, saying pious-sounding things like, “I’m praying that David’s success doesn’t go to his head, that he stays humble and remembers the Lord in the midst of these great opportunities and blessings.” But how would we react if Jesse responded, “Thank you for praying for David. I’ll be praying for you that you don’t get envious, that you don’t grow jealous of these wonderful things God is doing.”

How would you react? Would you bow-up and get blustery? “Well, yes, but what kind of person do you think I am? And who do you think you are to pray for me like that?” Would we respond with gratitude for the concern, or would we display by our internal murmuring that our own concern for David’s pride was rooted in envy, rivalry, and malice?

Don’t misunderstand me. When success comes, pride is a real danger and a deadly danger. But so is envy. And like pride, envy is a master of disguise, hiding as a concern for justice and fairness, as a desire to see a little more humility in other people, as a lack of enthusiasm when your neighbor or your friend or your brother or your sister receives yet another good thing from the hand of God.

2. Envy Operates Close to Home.

It attacks our closest relationships first. It makes koinonia impossible. We tend to envy those who are close at hand, who are like us, and who care about the same things that we do. I doubt that many pastors or elders or students have ever deeply envied Pastor John and his opportunities and success. Instead, we envy those who we regard as our peers, or as those a few steps ahead of us.

Saul’s envy is awakened when he brings David into his own house. For us, envy rears its ugly head when a friend or peer makes better grades, has more friends, is more likeable, receives a promotion, is given more opportunities, is given better opportunities, is better-looking, a better parent, more educated, more gifted, more popular, more intelligent, more esteemed, or more successful.

This is why envy and rivalry are poison to true community. When envy takes root, we are constantly on edge, competing with each other and throwing elbows over the smallest advantage. Like Saul, we can’t help eyeing other people, sizing them up and evaluating whether they pose a threat to our own sense of ourselves and our worth.

3. Envy Involves Triangular Desire.

It’s a corrupted form of imitation. Simple desire involves a subject and an object, a person desiring and an object desired. Triangular desire involves a subject, an object, and a model who gives the object its value. It involves a person desiring, an object desired, and a model who makes the object desirable by desiring it first.

Imagine a room full of toy animals and a small child in the middle happily playing with a black horse. A second child walks into the room. Which toy does the second child want? Right, the black horse. Why is that? Why is he unsatisfied with the other toy animals, even if you give him an identical black horse? Because what makes the black horse valuable is the fact that the first child is happily playing with it. It’s the model’s desire that makes the toy desirable. Now, before the second child came in, the first child could have happily put the black horse down in order to play with the brown cow. But now, he won’t. Why? Because the second child’s desire for the black horse has confirmed and reinforced that this is in fact the best toy. The second child has become a model who gives the object its desirability.

And this triangular desire is not just a feature of toddlers. It explains why two roommates will wreck a long friendship competing for the attention of the same girl. It explains why two co-workers will destroy a long partnership over a big client. It explains advertising, branding, and the willingness of people to pretend to enjoy things that they hate because someone that they admire enjoys it. It explains why a king who craves the esteem of his people would try to pin a young hero to the wall because he heard some women sing a song.

Triangular desire is a corrupted form of imitation in which we move from wanting to be like our model, to competing with our model, to wanting to replace our model. It’s not that we merely want what the model has; we want to be the model. When the second child sees the first child playing, he doesn’t mainly want the toy. He wants the experience of joy that the first child is experiencing. If the first child gave up the black horse and picked up the brown cow and started happily playing with it, the second child would now crave the brown cow. This is why the envious are so unhappy. The harder they try to compete and lust for the happiness of another, the more it eludes them. In The Count of Monte Cristo, Mercedes, who is engaged to Edmond, rebuffs the advances of Edmond’s friend Count Mondego, saying, “Do you remember when we were kids and you got the pony for your birthday and Edmond got a whistle? You were so upset that Edmond was happier with his whistle than you were with your pony.”

Because envy follows success, ooperates close to home, and involves corrupted imitation and triangular desire, it leaves in its wake nothing but strife, division, conflict, and relational wreckage. Parents can be crushed and confused at the enmity between their kids because they fail to recognize that most of the conflicts in the family are really over the parents’ approval or blessing or favor. Friendships are ruined when elbows start to get thrown because one person receives opportunities that another doesn’t. Marriages are trashed when husbands and wives compete with one another over who has the more difficult job.

Application

Be like Jonathan. Jonathan had every reason to fear and envy and compete with David. David’s victory over Goliath is a threat to Jonathan’s future throne. But Jonathan doesn’t resent David’s success. Jonathan recognizes the hand of God, the blessing of God, and the presence of God on David and with David, and Jonathan simply wants to be near him. Jonathan loves David. He loves David. He receives God’s blessing to David as a blessing to himself. He loves David as his own soul. He doesn’t want to replace David but to covenant with David, to be bound to him as a friend and comrade. He removes his royal robe and his armor and gives it to David as a gift. Instead, he advocates for David and shelters David and supports David against his father. In fact, later in 23:17, Jonathan says to David, “You shall be king over Israel and I shall be next to you.”

This is the test: How do you respond to the blessing and success of others? Do you murmur about it, or do you celebrate with them? Are you filled with gratitude or carping rivalry? When it comes to the success and fruitfulness of others, are you their biggest fan or their biggest critic? Are you consumed with envy, or is your joy made complete as you see the Bridegroom increase in the success of someone other than you?

Bethlehem, if another gospel-oriented church in the Twin-Cities surpasses us in conversions or growth or respect or leadership, will we grumble about it? Will we attribute their success to something other than God’s blessing, whether their ambition or their compromises or something else?

Unmarried folks, when your friend gets a girlfriend or boyfriend, or gets engaged, or gets married, are you genuinely happy for them? Are you filled with gratitude that God has brought them such a wonderful blessing? Or are you carping about the fact that you’ve been passed by once again?

Young people, how do you respond when your siblings are blessed? When they make the team or get an award or have lots of friends, are you happy for them? Do you communicate how excited and proud you are of them when they are blessed by God? Or do you grumble and complain?

Moms, what is your reaction when someone else’s child succeeds? Are you thrilled when someone else’s baby learns to walk before yours or learns to talk before yours? Are you constantly eyeing other moms like Saul did, feeling anger and displeasure when God blesses their parenting efforts? Do you murmur about them behind their back, dismissing them with back-handed compliments and trying to aid their humility by “cutting them down to size”?

Men, how do you react when someone else gets a promotion at work? If you were the general in Saul’s army who was replaced by this young upstart shepherd kid from Bethlehem, what would your reaction be? Would you throw your whole weight behind him? Or would you undermine his authority and leadership every chance you got?

And lest this be mere moralism, we must say that all of this comes from the gospel of God’s free grace. “By the grace of God I am what I am” (1 Cor 15:10). Grace is what defines us. Grace is what forms and fill us. Grace is what makes us who and what we are.

God’s glad-hearted approval of us in Christ is what frees us from being defined by the blessings and opportunities of others. God’s warm-hearted embrace of us in his Son delivers us from petty enslavement to the gifts and abilities of our friends and family. The soul-enlarging grace of God enables us to say:

I do not need to grasp for the talents and gifts of others. I do not need to covet my neighbor’s spouse, house, family, ministry, or opportunities. I am not defined by the blessings of others; I am defined by the grace of God. Therefore, I will refuse to measure myself by a false standard. I will resist the compulsive and relentless urge to compete with everyone under the sun (especially those who are called to do the same things that I am). I will put to death malicious dreams about the downfall and failure of others by savoring the sure knowledge that God is lavish in grace and that he has promised to graciously, freely, and abundantly give to me and to them all things in his Beloved Son.