For even if I made you grieve with my letter, I do not regret it—though I did regret it, for I see that that letter grieved you, though only for a while. As it is, I rejoice, not because you were grieved, but because you were grieved into repenting. For you felt a godly grief, so that you suffered no loss through us.
    For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death. For see what earnestness this godly grief has produced in you, but also what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what punishment! At every point you have proved yourselves innocent in the matter. So although I wrote to you, it was not for the sake of the one who did the wrong, nor for the sake of the one who suffered the wrong, but in order that your earnestness for us might be revealed to you in the sight of God. Therefore we are comforted.
    And besides our own comfort, we rejoiced still more at the joy of Titus, because his spirit has been refreshed by you all.—2 Corinthians 7:8–13

Introduction 

In the next few weeks, it is all-hands-on-deck here at Bethlehem. Let me take a few moments at the outset of this sermon to give you a roadmap of what’s coming. Christian Hedonism is the unifying theme of the next three weeks. Let me work backwards a little. In two weeks we have small group kick-off, and I am preaching on delighting in the body of Christ. Next week is our vision Sunday for children and youth ministry. Our chief desire is for them to be captivated by Christ. In other words, the next two sermons are vertical Christian hedonism (delighting in Christ) and horizontal Christian hedonism (delighting in the body of Christ).

This week we will take a Christian hedonist look at the topic of repentance. I am calling this the painful joy of Christian hedonism. Here is the main point this week: Real repentance is tied to real rejoicing.

Picture this with me: Repentance and rejoicing are like two shoestrings tied together. They are distinguishable, but they are tied together and absolutely inseparable. 

In our text for today, there is a defense of Paul’s joy and comfort which both flowed from the Corinthians’ repentance (7:7, 7:13a). First, I see Paul’s rejoicing in repentance when he talks about comfort and joy (7:1–7; 7:13). Second, Paul gives his reasons for rejoicing in repentance, namely the joy, though not without pain, that it produces in Paul (7:8–9) and the gain, again not without pain, that the Corinthians receive through their repentance (7:10–12).

Paul’s Comfort and Joy: Rejoicing in Repentance

Let me walk through four steps that will help us see the main point. First, we begin with the first word of verse 8, “for.” The word “for” is often used to support a previous point made. It is an invitation to slow down and ask what statement is being supported. Verses 8–12 provide a supporting foundation for a point that Paul made earlier in verses 4–7. What point does verse 8 support? What point does Paul want to hold high by beginning verse 8 with the word “for”?

Let’s find the point by reading verses 4–7. The good way to get a good summary of these verses is to notice the repetition.

I am acting with great boldness toward you; I have great pride in you; I am filled with comfort. In all our affliction, I am overflowing with joy.

For even when we came into Macedonia, our bodies had no rest, but we were afflicted at every turn—fighting without and fear within. But God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the coming of Titus, and not only by his coming but also by the comfort with which he was comforted by you, as he told us of your longing, your mourning, your zeal for me, so that I rejoiced still more. For even if I made . . .—2 Corinthians 7:4–8a

Did you notice Paul’s emphatic repetition of the words “comfort” and “joy”?

Now take a look at verse 13:

Therefore we are comforted.

And besides our own comfort, we rejoiced still more at the joy of Titus, because his spirit has been refreshed by you all.—2 Corinthians 7:13

Notice the first word, “therefore.” The word “therefore” works similarly to the word “for”; it holds high a previously stated or coming point. Reading through verse 13, you’ll notice that it has the same repeating themes as verses 4–7, namely the theme of comfort and joy. 

So verses 4–7 and 13 have the main point of comfort and joy. Paul uses these verses as bookends with the reasons for his rejoicing sandwiched in the middle. You could call it a comfort and joy sandwich. First there is the bread of comfort and joy in verses 4–7. Then there is the meat, the reasons for comfort and joy in verses 8–12. Then there is bread of comfort again in verse 13.

Let’s go back through verses 4–7 one more time. Are there any clues in that text that show us what Paul thinks or sees about the Corinthians which causes him such comfort and joy?

Paul is comforted by the Corinthians’ response of repentance, their longing, mourning, and zeal for Paul so that he says, “I rejoiced still more.” The word “for” in verse 8 now leads us into the meat, the reasons why Paul rejoices and is comforted by their repentance. Let’s look at these reasons for Paul’s rejoicing in repentance.

The Reasons for Rejoicing in Repentance

In reading this text, you can see that Paul looks at repentance from two perspectives. First, he looks at it from his own perspective, as the person pursuing the repentance of someone else. Second, he looks at it from the perspective of the Corinthians and what they gained through their repentance. You can see this in verses 8–12.

For even if I made you grieve with my letter, I do not regret it—though I did regret it, for I see that that letter grieved you, though only for a while. As it is, I rejoice, not because you were grieved, but because you were grieved into repenting. For you felt a godly grief, so that you suffered no loss through us.

For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death. For see what earnestness this godly grief has produced in you, but also what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what punishment! At every point you have proved yourselves innocent in the matter. So although I wrote to you, it was not for the sake of the one who did the wrong, nor for the sake of the one who suffered the wrong, but in order that your earnestness for us might be revealed to you in the sight of God.—2 Corinthians 7:8–12 

The Painful Joy of Paul

Paul knows that his letter made them grieve (7:8). He claims that he does not regret grieving them, but then he carefully qualifies his statement. He distinguishes between his short-term view (7:8) and his view in the long run (7:9).

Verse 8 says, “I do not regret it—though I did regret it, for I see that that letter grieved you, though only for a while.” In the short run, Paul does in fact regret that his letter caused them grief even though it was only for a little while.

But then he switches to the long run in verse 9. He says, “As it is, I rejoice, not because you were grieved, but because you were grieved into repenting.” Paul is rejoicing in the long run because the grief that his letter caused the Corinthians was also used by God to lead them to repentance.

Now Paul uses a new term to talk about grief that leads to repentance: “godly grief.” Godly grief is a grief that comes from God, causes repentance, and leads to gain, not loss. He says, “For you felt a godly grief, so that you suffered no loss through us.” Let’s look carefully at what Paul is doing before we look more deeply at this godly grief.

Paul is so vigilant to clarify his regret. Why does he have regret in the short run but not in the long run? The key is Paul’s pain and Paul’s joy. Paul has pain in the Corinthians’ hurting but joy in their healing. His letter of hard words caused initial hurt, but those words were aimed at the Corinthians’ healing. He regrets the painful process but not the end product of joy and healing.

This text is remarkably like 2 Corinthians 1 and 2. In those chapters, Paul states what governs all of his interactions with them. It is very clear in 2 Corinthians 1:24 where Paul says, “Not that we lord it over your faith, but we work with you for your joy, for you stand firm in your faith.”

Notice Paul does not enjoy “lording” his authority over them. He does not love his power and control over the Corinthians. He is not domineering. He is the opposite of domineering; he is serving. He works with them for their joy, so that they stand firm in their faith. Jesus is the good Lord, not Paul. Paul just works with the Corinthians to sustain and stir up their joy in Jesus. 

Now look at 2 Corinthians 2:3–4. Paul talks about why he wrote the painful letter in the way he did. Notice the qualification about pain and the purpose of joy. 

And I wrote as I did, so that when I came I might not suffer pain from those who should have made me rejoice, for I felt sure of all of you, that my joy would be the joy of you all. For I wrote to you out of much affliction and anguish of heart and with many tears, not to cause you pain but to let you know the abundant love that I have for you.—2 Corinthians 2:3–4

If Paul had come to visit the Corinthians, it would not have been a joyful reunion but rather a painful time of loving punishment for their sin. Paul could not bear the thought of punishing them. He took joy in their joy, not in their pain. So he wrote a letter to them instead. It was filled with hard words, but the letter displayed Paul’s love for them in that it was written in a way that showed how much it hurt Paul to say hard, potentially hurtful things to the Corinthians. He wrote it out of “much affliction and anguish of heart and with many tears” (2:4). But he clearly states what the purpose was and what is was not. It was not “to cause you pain,” but it was “to let you know the abundant love that I have for you” (2:4).

What stands out to me is how fully Paul is bonded to the Corinthians. I almost imagine Paul and the Corinthians are joined like Siamese twins are. If one side feels something, then the other does too. Paul feels the Corinthians’ pain, and he feels their joy. Their pain becomes his pain. Their joy becomes his joy. This is profound empathy. It is a great picture of the command in Romans 12:15, “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.”

Let me take a moment to make an application here. I want to quickly draw out a distinction between different types of hard words. Two main types of hard words can be distinguished by their aim. Is the aim of the hard words restoration? Or are they retaliation?

Love knows the difference between hard words aimed at retaliation and those aimed at restoration. What is the difference between those two things? Both will involve hard words that cause pain. The difference lies in the heart of the one speaking the words. Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. Is the overflow of the heart love or sinful anger? Sinful anger aims to hurt, while love aims to heal. A heart of love uses hard words like a surgeon’s scalpel, in that they make a wound only in order to heal. A heart of sinful anger uses hard words like a murderer’s knife, in that they wound in order to hurt or even kill. That is the difference between a surgeon and a murderer. The murderer enjoys the hurting and killing, but the surgeon enjoys the healing.

So here is a question for you and me to consider: Is your strongest motive to wound or to heal? Are you sad that your words may cause hurt to someone, or are you glad that your words may cause hurt? Do you want your words to hurt them the way that you’ve been hurt? What is your heart behind the words?

Let’s think about anger for a moment. Anger itself is physiological. The heart rate is up, the voice goes up, and there is a burst of energy for action. Be careful because that burst of energy from anger can be used for loving actions or for actions of attack mode. Sometimes it feels good to hurt people—especially if they have hurt us. And too many people excuse attack mode and sinful anger by softening them with other terms. For example, it is so easy to say, “I am not mad; I’m just frustrated.”

Knowing your heart is so crucial here. If you get into a discussion and the control center of your life (your heart) has been invaded and taken over by sinful anger, it might be a good idea to take a break. Sometimes you should not talk anymore. I’m not advocating for the silent treatment. What I mean is that, taking a break with the intention of restoration can be very helpful in fighting the reign of sinful anger. Before you take a break, communicate to the other person your intentions. Don’t run away and leave them to wonder if you are coming back. Say, “Right now, I am sorry, but anger has captured my heart. I fear that I would say things to hurt rather than to help or heal. I am going to take a break, cool down, and try to get my heart back. Then I will come back to you when I am ready.”

How do you know when sinful anger has invaded and captured your heart? I would argue that a key clue is the absence or loss of gentleness.

Look at Galatians 6:1 with me. “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness.”

The word “spiritual” in this context means, “filled with the fruits of the Spirit” from Galatians 5:22. Gentleness is a fruit of the Spirit, as well as love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. The works of the flesh offer such a stark contrast. In Galatians 5:20, Paul says that, “enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, and divisions” are all works of the flesh. If you are walking in the flesh, your heart is being temporarily controlled by your sinful flesh rather the Spirit. I think it would be a wise application not to trust yourself to begin the discussion again until the Spirit has regained control of your heart.

Let’s transition back to interpreting our text.

The Painful Gain of the Corinthians

In verse 9, Paul says, “For you felt a godly grief, so that you suffered no loss through us.” What is godly grief? Why does it bring gain and not loss? Paul is going to answer both of these questions in verse 10. Notice that verse 10 begins with the word “for” just like verse 8 did, and it shows us the origin and the outcome of grief.

For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death. For see what earnestness this godly grief has produced in you, but also what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what punishment! At every point you have proved yourselves innocent in the matter. So although I wrote to you, it was not for the sake of the one who did the wrong, nor for the sake of the one who suffered the wrong, but in order that your earnestness for us might be revealed to you in the sight of God.—2 Corinthians 7:10–12

Paul says that there are two possible places of origin for grief: God or the world. Godly grief is contrasted with worldly grief, and each of these possible origins result in different outcomes. Godly grief leads to “salvation without regret,” and worldly grief produces “death.”

Let’s zero in on the origin for a moment. Does the origin of the pain come from God or from the world? Whose approval are we craving, God’s or the world’s?

When the world’s approval is an idol, losing that approval is painful. Worldly grief means worrying about worldly scorn. It is the fear that I have hurt my chances for popularity, fame, fortune, or something else.

Godly grief is God-centered repentance, and it says with David, “against you, you only, have I sinned” (Psalm 51:4). God is the focus of David's grief, and his grief is a result of repentance. “How could I sin against God like this!” Worldly grief may provide more resolve for self-justification, but godly grief rests in God’s justification through the cross. God wounds in order to heal us at the cross.

Another essential distinction is that godly grief occurs over sins of the heart that no one except God sees. Man-centered grief does not care about sins of the heart that no one can see. God-centered grief confesses the sins of the heart, the “upstream sins,” in addition to sinful words and actions, the “downstream sins.” David confessed, “Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity and in sin did my mother conceive me” (Psalm 51:4). As Thomas Watson said, “A wicked man may be troubled for scandalous sins; a real convert laments heart-sins.” (Thomas Watson, The Doctrine of Repentance, 21). 

This also means that God-centered repentance has grief for the offense against God, not just sadness over the coming punishment. Loss of worldly gain does not shake a Christian as much as the fact that he or she has abused God’s love and kindness. “A man may be sorry, yet not repent, as a thief is sorry when he is taken, not because he stole, but because he has to pay the penalty” (Thomas Watson, The Doctrine of Repentance, 21). As Christians, we want to ask God for conviction, to be sorry for stealing because it hurts God rather than to be sorry that we have to go to prison because it’s sad for us.

We have to stop there and tease out an even more essential distinction. Real repentance is not a work of man, but a work of God. God creates repentance in the heart of man, we experience in the heart, and then it has an overflow from the heart. We experience it, and it overflows from us, but we do not create it. God alone can and does create repentance. 

Read 2 Timothy 2:24–26 and notice the distinction between what Timothy does and what God does. Timothy is called to demonstrate the fruits of the Spirit (kindness, patience, gentleness)in his correction, while God will give the repentance.

And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.—2 Timothy 2:24–26

Look also at the outcome when the repentance comes from God, namely, conviction leading to salvation and freedom. 

Realizing you can’t create repentance keeps you from trying to control someone with your words. You can so overly desire someone to “get it” that you try to beat them into submission with your words. You have not won anything but a begrudging agreement, which is more of a loss than a gain. Instead, you can stay gentle and in control with your words because you believe it is not the strength or force of your words that lead to conviction, but the power of God. Even when the words are tough, you can stay tender.

Let’s ask what evidence Paul saw that led him to the conclusion that this was indeed “godly grief” and not “worldly grief.” From the text, I think Paul specifically points out the Corinthians’ earnestness. Their earnestness shows how repentance and godly grief lead to a revival of resolve. It is a burst of energy—not like sinful anger that wants to fight against someone, but a burst of energy that wants to fight for someone. In this case, the Corinthians’ repentance made them want to fight for Paul. They had an eagerness to clear themselves (correcting where their allegiance was). They had indignation, fear, longing, zeal, and punishment! Paul’s very purpose for writing was the revelation of their earnest, deepest desires. “So although I wrote to you, it was not for the sake of the one who did the wrong, nor for the sake of the one who suffered the wrong, but in order that your earnestness for us might be revealed to you in the sight of God.”

Their earnestness needed to be revealed to them. Paul wrote the painful letter to restore them, and he wrote it the way he did in order to let them know the abundant love he had for them. The letter also gave Paul an occasion to reveal to the Corinthians the abundant love and zeal they have for him. It had been tested and tried, and now they proved that they were innocent—they were for Paul, not against him.

Let me give you a brief illustration. What would happen if a robber came and attacked someone’s sibling? My guess it that they would have resolve to defend the sibling. If it was your loved one, I’m sure you would not be okay with someone attacking your family. This situation provides an opportunity to see what is really in your heart for your loved one. 

Application

Repentance and Painful Rejoicing

Real repentance is gain, but it is painful gain. Repentance is a kind of painful purging that brings profound healing. It is like vomiting the sin that you swallowed that has made your spiritual stomach sick.

Repentance is a call to forsake rejoicing in the wrong things (the passing pleasures of sin) and a call to return to real rejoicing in Christ (full and forever pleasures found in his presence). It is a call to let go of inferior pleasures because they pale in comparison to the surpassing pleasure found in Christ. Repentance does not cancel our joy; it clarifies that our joy is not in the world but in Christ. We may lose some pleasure that the world has to offer (like premarital sex that everyone around you is saying is so wonderful), but repenting of lust clarifies for you that your chief joy is found in Christ. It would be loss to go after pleasures that take you away from Christ. “I count all things as loss compared to the surpassing value of knowing Christ my Lord” (Philippians 3:8).

Repentance is a severe mercy. Sin tricked you, and it will kill you if you continue in it. When you repent of it, the initial sweet taste turns bitter, and it briefly makes you sick to your spiritual stomach. Spiritual health and healing come with the sweetness of returning to Christ and being restored to him and his people.

Look at some of the things you can rejoice in through repentance:

First, God is still at work. He will complete the good work that he has begun (Philippians 1:6). This is Paul’s point that we will look at in two weeks. This was the very content of Paul’s boast to Titus. Paul was saying, “God is at work. The Corinthians will repent.”

Second, your love for God is real. Repentance shows that you love Jesus more than your sin. Repentance in your heart says, “I find more joy in full and forever pleasures of Jesus than in the partial and passing pleasures of sin.”

Third, relational repentance leads to rejoicing that a relationship is real and possibly to deep restoration. Relational repentance says, “My sin hurt you and pushed you away, but I want you back.” Remorse leads to resolve. The earnestness that flows from repentance says to someone else, “Look at how much I want you back.”

Conclusion 

Justice Has Switched Sides 

How does the gospel change everything about repentance? One of the reasons repentance is so painful is because you feel so dirty—so filthy. Satan loves to come to you after he has hooked you with the bait of sin’s temptation and accuse you, calling you filthy and condemned. Listen to Zechariah 3:

Then he showed me Joshua the high priest standing before the angel of the Lord, and Satan standing at his right hand to accuse him. And the Lord said to Satan, “The Lord rebuke you, O Satan! The Lord who has chosen Jerusalem rebuke you! Is not this a brand plucked from the fire?” Now Joshua was standing before the angel, clothed with filthy garments. And the angel said to those who were standing before him, “Remove the filthy garments from him.” And to him he said, “Behold, I have taken your iniquity away from you, and I will clothe you with pure vestments.” And I said, “Let them put a clean turban on his head.” So they put a clean turban on his head and clothed him with garments. And the angel of the Lord was standing by.—Zechariah 3:1–5

This story illustrates how the gospel makes the difference between standing before God with filthy clothes, feeling condemned, and with new clothes that God provides that make you clean and right in his sight. Sin leads to both guilt and shame. Guilt says, “I made a mistake.” Shame says, “I am the mistake.” Both guilt and shame make justice feel like it’s your opponent and it’s towering over you.

But great sinners find that grace is greater than all our sin. Justice has changed sides. We have been made right with God in the gospel. In the gospel, because of the sacrifice of Christ, your guilt is gone, your sin is forgiven, and your shame and nakedness are covered by the robes of righteousness given to you by Jesus himself. Satan the accuser pleads his case against you when there is guilt, but when guilt is gone because justice is satisfied, Satan also must be gone. I love the picture of him getting kicked out of heaven!

And I heard a loud voice in heaven, saying, “Now the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God and the authority of his Christ have come, for the accuser of our brothers has been thrown down, who accuses them day and night before our God. And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death.—Revelation 12:10–11

Remember there is no other court besides God’s. Once he and his justice are on your side, there is no other place where anyone can try you.

Who shall bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us.—Romans 8:33–34

All man-centered approaches try to cover up shame and involve self-justification—either by despairing, denying our sin, or dressing it up in the fig leaves of our self-righteousness. None will make justice change sides. God alone justifies. And when he does, there is no condemnation! Jesus is the only one that could speak a word against you, and he refused to do so. He speaks words for you; he is interceding for you. He died, was raised, and is at the right hand of God in victory towering over all enemy forces against your soul. Hear him say, “You are mine forever—no one can snatch you out of my hand!” Jesus’ death has satisfied justice so that it (and he) now sides with you. Be clothed in his robe of righteousness! He has defeated death. "Let no one caught in sin remain / inside the lie of inward shame, / but fix your eyes upon the cross / and run to him who showed great love / and bled for us. / Freely you bled for us!" Sing and celebrate his great love!