“Whoever desires to love life
    and see good days,
let him keep his tongue from evil
    and his lips from speaking deceit;
let him turn away from evil and do good;
    let him seek peace and pursue it.
For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous,
    and his ears are open to their prayer.
But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”—1 Peter 3:8–12

Introduction: Acting Naturally Focused on the World 

Over and over we’ve seen that as those who are not yet at our true home, we are called and empowered by God to fight against our own natural, sinful desires and instead to fill our surroundings with beautiful, good deeds that point to the beauty and goodness of our King.

We’ve seen that calling pointed out in particular situations—the governing authorities, slaves and masters, and then last week, wives and husbands. Now this week, the apostlePeter zooms out more generally again and refers to “all”—meaning “all Christians” who read this letter—and calls them to a radical idea that when someone hurts them, they should not seek revenge but seek to bless them. The calling is clear. But doing it is difficult. Why? Because it is so natural to revile. It is so natural to want to do bad when someone does bad to you.

We don’t have to teach kids to revile. We don’t have to teach kids to shift blame. I did not have to teach my kids to fight over toys or get angry when they don’t get their way. It is our natural inclination from the time we can walk & talk to revile and do evil to those who revile and do evil to us.

But here again we have commands that are meant to help us become who we are. We are a chosen race from all races, a holy nation from all nations—a people from all the peoples called to show and proclaim his excellencies. Once we had not received mercy, but now we’ve been born again by mercy so we can walk in new ways.

If we’re honest, we all have people in our lives that hurt or frustrate us with what they say or how they say it. Maybe you feel like someone thinks or speaks in ways that aren’t fair. Isn’t it easy to go into a mode of frustration and bitter thoughts? The flesh and the devil will conspire to make us distant and defensive. It’s easy to say, “I don’t normally go around cursing and reviling people.” But is your heart doing that? Is your heart’s posture one that seeks to bless those who hurt you?

A Blood-Bought Family (1 Peter 3:8)

Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind.

After a few sections on relating to the outside world, Peter’s point here is that the people of God are meant to act as a blood-bought family in this world. This family should be different from the world and should be a place of Christlike love on display.

Can you imagine a scenario where the church was not acting this way toward each other? Where they were sniping at each other, not sympathetic, not tender, and not showing humility in their conversations? What if there was some platform where they could do that all the time and not even face each other? What if there was endless information and controversy being put out and stirred up that they launched at each other? Wouldn’t that make a church grow weak and weary? Wouldn’t it sour their witness?

A family was the building block of Roman society. Here’s what commentator Karen Jobes says about these terms that are used:

Peter feels free to apply to the Christian community terms commonly used of family relationships, apparently following the thought that their new birth generated by God the Father (1:3–4) makes the Christian community into a family.

This is the supernatural, blood-bought family where people from diverse backgrounds and demographics become one. John Piper, in a seminar on 1 Peter 3:8, argues that all of these characteristics are emotions or dispositions of the soul. In other words, it matters how you feel toward other believers here in this family as you interact with them. Let’s look quickly at these characteristics.

Unity of Mind
This means to be of one mind. What should we have one mind about? How about all that we’ve already seen? We are elect exiles chosen by God. We are a people set apart by the Holy Spirit to be holy. We are a people sprinkled with the blood of Jesus for obedience to Jesus Christ. We are a people united in the finished work of Jesus Christ who help each other set our hope fully on him. We gently encourage one another toward the truth of the gospel. We encourage each other toward holiness. The first disposition of our hearts toward one another is the very thing that makes us a family. It is a one-mindedness in the gospel of Jesus Christ and a united commitment to help each other stay faithful in following him.

Sympathy
This means to be with someone in their suffering and situations. It means at a minimum to take the time to listen well and seek to understand and walk with people in their pain and confusion. Do you seek to understand and “suffer with” people? How about if they don’t agree with you? How long before you give up and walk away? Jesus entered into our brokenness and is a sympathetic high priest even in our weakness, and we enter in with him and point each other to him.

Brotherly Love
These terms are calling us to act as brothers and sisters. Yes, we will squabble. But we won’t leave. Yes, we will hurt each other. But we will say we’re sorry. Yes, we will get offended and not get our way and even flat out disagree, but we will not give up on each other or disregard each other. Instead, we long for harmony with our brothers and sisters. We long for deep, true, sweet relationships as we all are seeking—fallen and broken as we are—to walk with Jesus. Are you eager to walk in self-giving love as your big brother, Jesus Christ, loved you?

Tender Hearts
This literally means “generous bowels.” It means from down in the deepest part of you, you are eager to do good to the members of this family as Christ has done good for you. Wasn’t the love of Christ radically generous? Is that your deepest longing?

Humble Mind
To share a certain mindset or disposition. What kind of mind might this be? I think Philippians 2 is the other clear place we see this.

Being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus.—Philippians 2:2–5

Do you follow Jesus here in actually counting others more significant? Do you approach conversations and interactions looking to humble yourself—to listen well, to lay down your rights, and to truly believe that it’s not only what you say that matters, but the heart disposition with which you say it? 

These are family dispositions of the heart toward each other. So don’t be content with simply getting the facts right. Instead, search your heart and see if your words and your actions and your interactions and your posts are filled and written and spoken with these dispositions of heart that will fill our church and our Facebook pages with the aroma of a family bought with the blood of Christ. Let’s become who we are as the people of God that looks and acts differently from the world. Peter is calling these believers to be a supportive, loving family as they walk through pain and persecution together. Do you have these soul dispositions toward the blood-bought family here, South?

A Family Called to Bless and Be Blessed (1 Peter 3:9) 

Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing.

This larger section (1 Peter 2:11–4:11) has been about how Christians relate to suffering and hard circumstances around them. I think this is mainly talking about how Christians should relate to the outside reviling and evil that comes at them from the world. At the time this passage was written, it was said of Christians that they were worshiping false gods. That they were eating flesh and drinking blood. That they were evildoers up to no good. That they were fools who believed in some guy who had been crucified. It wasn’t a cool time to be a Christian. There was no cultural capital for being a Christian—as we’ve so long experienced—but a net loss.

You can imagine how, in the midst of persecution, it would have been easy to give into thoughts of bitterness and reviling.

In our day and age, the strange few hundred years of it being cool to be a Christian are slowly fading away. Now, people often say that we are judgmental when we stand against abortion or unloving when we stand against so-called same-sex marriage. Or perhaps that we are fools to believe in a God who created the world or a Savior who came to die for sins. Or perhaps that we are hateful to tell people they are sinners for just doing what makes them happy.

Now, to all these things, I would say this: Let us fill the world with beautiful deeds of supporting moms with unplanned pregnancies and being a haven of grace for those that deal with the pain of abortion. Let’s be a people who walk with those attracted to the same sex as the true family of God, so that they have the love and relationships we all need as image-bearers of God. And let’s not just tell people they are sinners, but let’s admit that we are too and seek to show them how much sweeter it is to walk with Jesus than enter into sin. When they call us evildoers, we fill this place with the beauty of the self-giving love of Jesus so that they glorify God. 

Too often, the Christian response to those kinds of accusations in our day is exactly what Peter warns against. We simply call names back at them. We tell them what we’re against but not what we’re for. We post mocking statements or eye-roll emojis at those people we think are against us. We fight evil with evil and we counter reviling with reviling. And we justify it, right? Someone has to stand up for us. 

 But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.—Luke 6:27–29

This is distinctly Christian. There is nothing more natural than doing bad to those who do bad to you. But can you take the step of praying for those who hurt you? Can you take the step of asking God to help them and change them? Can you take the step of finding ways to try to do good to them, even when they’ve done bad or evil to you?

Is there someone in your life right now that is difficult? Hurts you? Frustrates you? Begin praying for them. Begin asking the Lord to work in their hearts. Begin asking the Lord for a heart that would want to do them good and an opportunity to do it.

We bless instead of curse as those who know that we don’t ultimately need to fight for control in this world because it is not our home. We bless instead of curse as those who know that the people of God, born again to a living hope, can live in new ways like this and have an inheritance coming. We bless in order that we might “inherit a blessing.”

Peter again is saying, “Be who you are, have your hope set on your true home. Those who will inherit this blessing are those who are born again to a living hope to bless others who curse them now.”

We remember that this world is not our home and so we are free to not fight for our place or our rights or our good treatment and instead live in self-giving love to those who hurt us. We can do this knowing that we have an inheritance coming that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading and is kept in heaven for us. We are a family created to bless those who curse us with our ultimate blessing always in view. 

A Family Reminder and Motivation (1 Peter 3:10–12) 

For “Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit; let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayer. But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”

Peter now quotes from Psalm 34. This psalm is one where David himself was in exile and on the run from those seeking to harm and persecute him. It’s an appropriate psalm for the people to whom Peter is writing. This psalm is a reminder to the people of God that God has always been with his people who seek his face and given as a motivation to follow these commands.

Do you want to love life and see good days? Well, Psalm 34:8—which Peter has already quoted in 2:3—says to taste and see that the Lord is good and that those who take refuge in him are blessed. Therefore, a life you can love and good days for the people of God are defined by the presence of God not the circumstances of our lives. Peter wants to remind these exiles about to go through hard suffering that God sees them and hears them. He saw and heard Israel in Egypt and he brought them to the Promised Land. He saw and heard David in his exile and delivered him. He sees and hears these believers in their sojourning and suffering and will deliver them.

Therefore, their calling is clear. “Keep your tongue from evil and deceit. Don’t join in the gossip and canceling culture of this world. Don’t fight evil with evil. Instead, overcome evil with good. Seek peace and pursue it.” Are you careful with your words? Careful with your tongue? Are you a peacemaker? This is the calling of God (“to this you were called”!) no matter what the circumstances are. This is the calling for how God’s people are to act in the midst of their enemies. 

Peter is encouraging his hearers to carry this out, knowing that God sees them and hears them. Knowing that as they continue to do good, God promises his presence to them in the hard moments now and forever.

Do you want to know what helps my kids get through big storms at night? When I hear their cries and I go and stay with them until it passes. In a much bigger way, God is saying, “Just follow Jesus, walk as he walked because of the new power you have as the new people of God, and I will be with you—I will see you and I will hear you. Fill this place with a remarkable, countercultural love for each other and an ability to bless your enemies that will show the world that I’m real.” 

Application: Acting Supernaturally Focused on the Word

But this is still hard, because it is so natural to join in the reviling and canceling culture we live in. We write this person off. We throw article after article out there. We post demeaning things about this thing or that person. It will be a supernatural thing to actually have a heart disposition that seeks to bless those who attack Christians and pray for those who would accuse us of things. So where do we go?

Well, Peter has already quoted Psalm 34 once before in this book:

So put away all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander. Like newborn infants, long for the pure spiritual milk, that by it you may grow up into salvation—if indeed you have tasted that the Lord is good.—1 Peter 2:1–3

We feed our new longings as the new people of God. We cry out for more of the goodness of the Lord. We saturate our minds over and over again with more of Christ—every few hours if we need to, like a newborn baby. We fill ourselves up on him and then seek to engage in every conversation, to spend every dollar, to use every minute, and to pour out every talent he’s given us with our minds set on Christ. The supernatural word is the sword of the Spirit that will pierce through our hearts and show us what is really there. The supernatural word is where we go to not be conformed but be transformed by the renewing of our mind. The supernatural word reminds us that we have a Savior we trust who is our example—we want to fill this place with deeds that point to the goodness of who he is and what he has done:

When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly.—1 Peter 2:23 

Think about when you are most tempted to get angry or anxious. Where are you most tempted to get frustrated? What are you reading or taking into your mind that makes you want to revile? Replace that with the word of God until you can get to a place where you genuinely can seek to bless those who make you most mad. Remind yourself that Jesus did not revile—even though he never sinned! Instead he trusted his Father. You can trust him, too, even with difficult people.

We are a blood-bought family that was purchased by our Savior who did not revile when he was reviled against, but who, for the joy set before him, endured the cross. We are a blood-bought family that can trust that there is joy set before us too—that we really will inherit the blessing of his eternal presence so that we can trust him now in our suffering. And we are a blood-bought family of elect exiles, set apart by the Spirit and called to obey Jesus and fill these places with the kind of beautiful behavior in the midst of suffering that can only be explained if Jesus is real and living in us and among us.

And just as he always has, God will be with his people in their suffering. He will hear us and he will see us and he will be with us to empower us to show the beauty of Christ. He will work for our good and for the glory of his Name as we love each other like Christ loved us and bless those who revile us because we know our ultimate blessing is coming soon.

Sermon Discussion Questions

Introduction: Acting Naturally Focused on the World

1.  A Blood-Bought Family (1 Peter 3:8)
2. A Family Called to Bless and Be Blessed (1 Peter 3:9)
3. A Family Reminder and Motivation (1 Peter 3:10–12)

Application: Acting Supernaturally Focused on the Word (cf. Psalm 34:8)

Discussion Questions

• Why does reviling come so naturally to us? What is at the heart of defensiveness?
• Why is it so important for the church to bear family characteristics? How can it strengthen us for our witness in the world?
• Why does God call us to this type of living? What does it show about him?
• What does the family of God have to look forward to? How does our receiving the blessing interact with how we bless others?
• How does Psalm 34 reinforce the apostle Peter's ideas up to this point? Where has he alluded to Psalm 34 before?
• How do our new tastebuds for Jesus help us obey this passage? What does that tell us about our first priority?
• Where are you tempted to revile? Where are you tempted to curse? Where can you bless others this week?
• How can you work on your heart this week in your love for the family of God and your interactions with the world?